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Mohammad Farooq

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How Arif Naqvi’s fall from grace put Abraaj on brink of bankruptcy

29 Friday Jun 2018

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Audit & Assurance, Business, Uncategorized

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Abraaj Group, Arif Naqvi, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Healthcare funds, International Finance Corporation (IFC), KPMG, Private Equity House

By: Mohammad Farooq

LAHORE: The rapid descent of Abraaj founder Arif Naqvi and the wave of accusations over misuse of healthcare funds by its investors has put the company on the brink of bankruptcy.

Naqvi, who once heralded places like the World Economic Forum in Davos and rubbed shoulders with people like Microsoft founder Bill Gates and proselytized good deeds and money making, has seen his reputation soiled.

The problems of Naqvi have been compounded by the delay in the sale of Pakistani private power utility K-Electric have contributed to a liquidity crisis for Abraaj.

Naqvi, who set up Dubai-based Abraaj in 2002, in February passed the reins of the fund management arm to two new co-chief executives so he could concentrate on managing the parent company, Abraaj Holdings.

Investors in May had called Naqvi to further scale back his involvement in the group amid a row over misuse of funds.

Naqvi remains the single largest shareholder in Abraaj Holdings and sits on its board. He also remains a non-executive member of the Global Investment Committee, which according to Abraaj’s website, is responsible for investment and divestment decisions across funds and provides guidance on transactions.

However, critics allege Mr Naqvi of being arrogant, delaying cost cutting until it was too late and his inability to calm the increasing turbulence, reported Financial Times.

In a statement to FT, Arif Naqvi acknowledging the mistakes said he was intent on reaching a restructuring deal which would shield jobs and allow to pay back debts of Abraaj.

He added “I am working day and night to make sure that no one loses money, and everyone gets back what they are entitled to. I don’t care about self-interest — my intention is to make sure everyone else gets their money returned.”

Known to be a generous philanthropist, Mr Naqvi studied at the prestigious institute London School of Economics (LSE).

Mr Naqvi has made donations to LSE and Abraaj has been a leading promoter of Middle Eastern art and has financed a prize and glitzy fair, said FT.

In February this year, Abraaj was roiled by accusations over misuse of investor funds in a $1 billion health-care fund and had set ablaze a wave of unrest amongst its biggest investors.

Amongst Abraaj’s biggest investors is the World Bank, Melinda Gates Foundation, International Finance Corporation (IFC) and U.K based CDC Group had demanded an independent audit into the alleged misuse of funds.

The group was broken into Abraaj Investment Management Ltd (AIML) and Abraaj Holdings in late February.

However, an internal audit carried out by KPMG gave a clean chit to the company but Abraaj was compelled to return capital to a new fund and stopped fresh investments in wake of organizational restructuring and geared up to introduce new robust internal controls.

In mid-April, again reports surfaced the company had hired the services of big four accountancy firm Deloitte to investigate its business, which included its $1 billion healthcare fund which had been the centre of controversy since February.

The leading investors had voiced concerns over the hurriedly conducted audit by KPMG of Abraaj’s healthcare fund and demanded another audit be conducted to verify if there had been any misuse of funds.

Also, KPMG was said to be undertaking an internal review into its audits of the world’s largest emerging private equity house.

KPMG forms part of the “big four” accountancy and audit firms globally and its UK branch is investigating its Middle East division for any potential irregularities in the valuation of assets of Abraaj and its linked entities.

The sources refused to be identified due to the sensitive nature of the information and KPMG is also reevaluating its examination of Abraaj’s $1 billion healthcare fund which was given a clean chit in February.

In May, Wall Street Journal reported Chief Financial Officer (CFO) Bisher Barazi of Abraaj’s private equity fund and the unit’s chief operating officer Matthew McGuire quit merely months into their posts after being appointed after a major reshuffle at the company earlier this year.

Reuters reported on Wednesday about summary findings of a review carried out by Deloitte, which was hired by Abraaj to examine its business, showed that a cash shortage led the firm to “commingle” investor money with its own money.

Adding insult to injury, Kuwait’s Public Institution for Social Security on May 22 filed a case in a Cayman Islands court against Abraaj, claiming the company was unable to repay a $100 million loan and $7 million interest by the agreed date.

Earlier this month, the Kuwaiti fund declined to agree to a proposed debt freeze, complicating Abraaj’s efforts to sell its investment management business to New York-based Cerberus Capital Management.

And adding to Abraaj woes was news on Tuesday that another creditor Auctus had initiated legal proceedings in the Cayman Islands in which it sought restructuring of the private equity firm’s liabilities.

In a major development on Thursday, Abraaj filed a petition in the Cayman Islands asking the court to appoint PwC as provisional liquidators.

A press release issued by the company stated: “The appointment of provisional liquidators imposes a moratorium on the enforcement of all unsecured claims against the company, allowing time for a proposal to be put to creditors for the orderly restructuring of the company.”

Abraaj Group founder Arif Naqvi said, “This process marks the culmination of an extremely complex and challenging phase of negotiations and detailed planning. Since our differences with certain investors first came to light, we have worked exhaustively and transparently to investigate the matter and address their concerns, all the while ensuring our tremendous investment teams around the world continue to support the growth of our partner companies.”

He further added, “The intense public scrutiny and highly speculative rumours on these matters have put enormous stress on the Abraaj family of employees and partners, together with our investors and other stakeholders. We appreciate the support we have received from many who understand our circumstances and believe in the fundamental mission we have strived for the past 16 years to fulfil – investing for impact and driving growth. I want to thank our regulators, management teams, colleagues, lenders and advisors for working tirelessly to bring us to this point.”

“Keeping the interests of the Limited Partners in the Funds managed by Abraaj Investment Management Limited (AIML) during this turbulent period has been paramount. The fact that the approximately 50 companies in the current generation of funds have kept growing during these recent turbulent months demonstrates the resilience and quality of their management teams and our investment professionals.

“The process of court-supervised restructuring will take a few months. I will continue to support this orderly process and help ensure the best possible outcomes for all the stakeholders. The past four months have been humbling, exhausting and testing for us all but when I reflect on the past 16 years, I am proud of the positive impact that Abraaj has had on the markets and communities it serves”.

Published in Profit by Pakistan Today, June 14th 2018.

Random disclosures of a confused mind

17 Sunday Apr 2016

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Hope, Love, Motivation, Uncategorized

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Ensnared by love, but still wandering aimlessly looking to be cajoled into it. Imaginary recitations by the heart are becoming a repetitive exercise, defied by foolishness and emotions. Hope is haplessly intrigued by false promises of change and inner contentment. When you feel their presence, but their absence becomes conspicuous. Devoid of experiences that define the existence of love, we become foolhardy in every respect of the word.

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As I go through the tapestries of my heart, I wonder what went amiss. There are no traces of the memories that would bring a smile on my face, because I never made the effort to create them. All I remembered was the pain and seriousness that embodied me as a person. Ironic, as it may sound I never came out of the world carved for myself. It was perfect, sumptuous and just fitted my requirements. It’s what is termed as tailoring of the mind to a state of trance which is fine tuned to your very liking. Everything may sound as a predefined notion, littered with thoughts that should not only be expunged but discarded apparently. Some memories should be like closets, which house our precious belongings. Stagnancy has never resolved any issues, it only makes us abandon our goals. Jettisoned should be the things that create hurdles or stall your progress. Carrying unnecessary baggage only adds more burden on our shoulders and makes us weak. There seems a tendency to give significance to issues that has no bearing on our lives and embroil ourselves in unnecessary controversy. Disparity in our practices and actions goes unhindered, we become obligated to them and they get ingrained within us. Depth of our souls is only marred by the shallowness embedded within us, this is the ambiguity.

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My mind is a closet of sorts, housing many ideas and theories about how life should be. In a blink of an eye, those thoughts become overclouded by suspicion of self doubt and a complete lack of belief. I am espoused by the horrors and fears of my mind. I am more in cahoots with my horrors, than appreciating my pleasant moments. When an individual finds excuses to offset for what he should actually be responsible for, things go awry from there. They do not realize the repercussions of such practices, that it traps them so tightly that escape becomes an impossible notion. This is the moment when optimism and hope deserts them also, making the already miserable situation a complete disaster. But the point arises, what is the solution to it? Complexities are a creation of our thoughts and the way we tend to make them encircle our minds. It is always up to the individual to realize that their destiny is shaped by their actions mostly and not solely by divine interventions. Luck doesn’t charm everyone, or the whole mankind would have been hitting jackpots every given hour. This is an impasse; which can only be resolved by our will to undertake efforts to break the shackles that hold us.

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What lies forth is completely unknown to us and will remain unchartered territory. So consider it forbidden, and live with the chasms of life because it meant to be like that. We desire a lot of things to go our way, but probabilities and the outcomes of it are not destined to be in our control. The choice is ours to make, and the best option is to let God script it the way He deems fit.

Image Credits: Katie Morton, QuotePixel, TheStyleShaker

City Wars

15 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Uncategorized

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Using Twitter yesterday, I came across a trend that enraged me, City Wars in Pakistan. This topic needs to be put under the scanner in the context of national interest. As we persist with this attitude of melancholy in terms of city wars, we do not realize the forces of self-immolation being unleashed. No stone has been left unturned in us mobilizing against each other, passing racist remarks, showing dis-contempt and a complete lack of tolerance. It may sound obnoxious, but this is something I intend to discuss in the next few paragraphs.

The animosities between the different cities in Pakistan, has existed since time immemorial. Whether we reside in Karachi, Lahore, Peshawar or Quetta for that matter, some kind of resentment has always existed in the hearts of the native residents living in these cities towards each other. There is a tendency for us to forget that we all at the end of the day, are Pakistani’s. Collectively all these cities in their own respective way form the core and heart of the Pakistani economy, history and culture etc. Karachi’s significance economically is so great, it has a deep sea port, a trading hub locally and internationally. It is an industrial might, cosmopolitan in nature much akin to Mumbai. Its contribution revenue wise to the national exchequer is unrivalled. As Karachi remains engulfed in violence, innocents being butchered and so many 100 of families losing their loved ones, the resilience of its citizens is still very much there. Irrespective of the insecurities, Karachi thrives under the shadow of preemptive strikes, violence and so much more. It is a testimony to its nature as a cosmopolitan city, that it still stands still even amidst the backdrop of the mafia and elements trying to destroy it. Those who live there, swear by its uniqueness, way of life and the pleasures it gives them. Karachi is the heartbeat of Pakistan!

Now coming to Peshawar, a city of immense importance in every context of the word. It is considered to be the earliest living city of South Asia. It has said to have preserved the remnants of Greek, Persian, Buddhist, Sikhism, Muslim and British Civilizations. A city with such a rich history and cultural heritage is something to be proud off. Peshawar has borne the brunt of violence in this War against Terror waged by the Americans since the aftermath of 9/11. It has been ravaged by deadly bomb blasts, sporadic rocket and mortar attacks in the last decade or so. All this bloodshed and the massacres of innocents has left the city in a state of mourning but even then the resilience of the people of Peshawar is absolutely mesmerizing. Same is the case of Quetta, the capital city of Balochistan province, and mired in conflict and violence since the last so many years. Peace and tranquility is something both these cities Peshawar and Quetta are bereft off. The element of fear and insecurity exists, but even the aftermath of it, all the citizens go about their lives resiliently hoping for something better. They have never ever given up hope.

Among all this despondency, bloodshed should we indulge in ridiculing these cities? Do our shoddy mindsets, who bring up these city wars, even realize what are our brother and sisters in these cities are going through? Do we even realize, the seeds of discontentment being sowed by us. Mocking each other on Twitter or Facebook, for that matter is a very easy thing to do. We are already so divided and intolerant, this kind of hatred for each other will only fuel the flames of further discontentment. In these difficult times, especially for all those families in Karachi, Quetta and Peshawar who have gone through the pain of losing their loved ones what impact can these city wars have on them? Instead of joining forces to ridicule this silly campaign, we are hell bent to ensure that we end up in self-destructing ourselves.

Divisions among the populace, lacking a coherent policy of reconciliation will only broaden it further. The practice of hatred and racism in the context of cities is downright disgusting. This does not denote our sense of patriotism in flaming this hatred against each other. Harbouring of these negative thoughts has to be shed and a pro-nationalistic agenda needs to be adopted. And here I remember the old classic saying: “United we stand, Divided we fall”.

Manto: A Realist par Excellence

10 Saturday May 2014

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Uncategorized

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Saadat Hassan Manto (1912-1955) is a name synonymous in the annals of Urdu Literature. Considered among the greatest contemporary Urdu short story writers of the 20th century, he has left a legacy which is far and wide. Manto’s greatest gift was his ability to depict the reality of society with such ease that he would leave the reader mesmerized and in utter awe. His attention to minor details and his signature style of description was second to none. Manto was a realist and puritan who hated hypocrisy in every given way.

    Manto attacked a society which was mired in social ills and living in a state of self-denial. The breadth of topics that he covered in his short stories were a testimony to the versatility he displayed. Reality in any given era is never acceptable by any norms or standards in any society at any given period of time. The relevance that his writings resonate today will never cease to lose importance. His stories never distorted the truth, they were always challenging the perceptions of society and the people living in it. His short stories echo a grim picture of the evils of society where hypocrisy rules the roost and dominates proceedings. Manto by nature was a very sensitive person and his writings of the violence that engulfed partition had hurt him greatly.

Manto’s observation skills and directness of his language, while writing were arguably second to none. A humanist par excellence barring his alcoholism, he was proud and arrogant in nature virtue of his talent. He never augured faith and beliefs into his friendships. Manto forged bonds with people from all walks of life irrespective of faith example Ashok Kumar, Shayaam and Pran. Manto’s uniqueness lay in calling a spade a spade, and would not budge one bit from what he had written. Outspoken and brash in nature, this made him susceptible to attack from all quarters which as a result led him into trouble amongst the literary elite of that time. He was a rebel, who had formed his own niche of writing, and was unique in every given sense of the word. Manto’s writings were influenced by the happenings in society, not by the people that surrounded him. Once he finished writing a story, it was final and no editing of any sort was possible. He is supposed to have told his wife Safia Manto that he was capable of narrating four stories at any given time such was the ability he possessed. His literary genius has never ever been in doubt such was the prowess of the man.

Manto’s simple paradigm was, he wrote what he saw which was then depicted then in his short stories to telling effect. His ability to observe the present and decipher the future was on display in his famous Letters to Uncle Sam. Incisive, eye opening and jaw dropping in nature were his stories which left an undeniable impact on the reader. His stories removed the veil from those practices in society which were filthy and disgusting in nature. He raised those issues which were considered a taboo in society and abhorred. His writings were termed as ‘pornographic’ in nature and were condemned by most segments in society during that time. A firm proponent of openness in society, his rebellious nature would mean that he will never be owned up by anyone in society.  His uniqueness and the ability to depict reality was, will always be a part of his legacy.

Water Scarcity and Wastage in Pakistan

17 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Uncategorized

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Environment, Pakistan

 Pakistan is among the most distressed category of water scarce countries in the world.The per capita availability of water has reduced to an alarming level of less than 1,000 cubic feet. Water is the vehicle that powers our agriculture sector it contributes about 21.4% of the GDP to our economy and hires almost 40% of the workforce in it. Have we ever imagined the spectre of a looming water shortage and crisis being predicted in a decade’s time by experts? Has our government ever realized what it would mean for our economy; for our very livelihood and what catastrophe can it have? I doubt any kind of policy has been worked out by our present government or the ones gone previously. A campaign is being run by the Pakistan Tehreek-E-Insaaf (PTI) and seminars being held in different cities to highlight this issue.

Water should be treated as an economic good which should be taxed. Its price linked to amount of usage and consumption. According to the report released by the Asian Development Bank in 2013; Pakistan’s storage capacity in case of an emergency is limited to a 30 day supply far below the recommended 1,000 days for countries with similar climates. With a massive increase in population; the usage of water is also exponentially increasing but nothing is being done to address the chronic shortage of water that is supposed to hit us in the next decade or so.  It is a dwindling resource; population growth is exacerbating the issue of water shortage in the country. Global warming is causing a change in climate patterns ; which has resulted in a lessening of melting of glaciers; reducing water flow as a result; lack of dams for storing rain water, boring and drilling of land for irrigation purposes. The discharge of water from untreated industrial and domestic waste is the cause of the supplies getting contaminated and the mixing of sewerage and water pipelines worsens it.

The promotion of awareness campaigns to not waste water need to be initiated from the ground up. Efficient usage of water needs to be envisaged; the usage of tube wells all day long needs to be reduced and divided into fixed intervals. Big reservoirs or water tanks need to be installed by WASA , and water appropriately discharged to the localities for usage in their homes. Boring of land in homes needs to be banned altogether; the individual doing it should be heavily penalized and reprimanded. Efficient usage of water needs to be promoted ; filtration plants need to be installed at the premises where water tankers exist to avoid contamination. All localities in the cities should be checked by taking samples of water to test out for contamination purposes every few months. The price of water being used should be exorbitantly increased; to make people realize that water is a national asset. Strict penalties need to be slapped for wasting water example is the watering of roads and gardens in their homes. Inspection teams need to be deployed for this very purpose to check whether water is being stolen or not by any individual or institution.

Pakistan needs to envision a future where water will be in scarce quantity as stated by many experts. Steps need to be initiated at Federal and Provincial level to prevent water wastage and create methods to avert this crisis on a war footing. It threatens our nation’s very existence; its present and future are massively dependent on it.

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More reading resources:

http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/business/20-Jan-2014/country-heading-towards-water-shortage

http://spearheadresearch.org/SR_CMS/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Pakistans-_Water_Crisis_part-1.pdf

http://www.thenews.com.pk/Todays-News-7-239995-Water-shortage-to-turn-Pakistan-into-a-failed-state-PEW

http://tribune.com.pk/story/553491/water-sufficiency-pakistan-faces-dire-threat-of-water-scarcity/

http://tribune.com.pk/story/231905/pakistans-water-crisis/

Child Labour in Pakistan & Education

14 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Uncategorized

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As a nation we are afflicted with the notion that the domestic help we hire are our slaves and treat them in any manner we want. Recently; I came across a piece on the Dawn News website mentioning about a 14 year old girl working as a domestic help in Lahore being subjected to torture by her employers. They shaved her head and was burnt alive after being doused with petrol. She was moved to the burns ward of Mayo Hospital where she is undergoing treatment.

   It is one of many sad incidents that occur on a daily basis, and are not a source of much surprise or shock. For me this kind of physical abuse and brutality towards our domestic help is unbelievable. And this problem exists irrespective of age and is rife in our society. Whether it is men, women or children hired as domestic help there is always a tendency to abuse them verbally and physically. These young boys, girls hired as help in our homes, are grossly underpaid. They are in majority cases denied the right to basic necessities of life. It is child labour and a crime in every given way. These children are treated as dirt by the majority of us, abused, seen as downtrodden and looked with contempt. Is there any realization that we could also have landed in their place and be treated in exactly the same way as we are treating them? Just because we are well off doesn’t mean we can use it as a pretext to demean them?  Is this racist outlook towards these children and our dastardly treatment justified?

These young kids are forced to work in our homes due to abject poverty and to support their ailing families. They act as a helping hand so the money they earn can go towards meeting their family expenses. As per my knowledge, a number of laws do prohibit child labour in Pakistan. As in most cases, the law is hardly followed or implemented in any sense of the word. Its mere existence is enough for the government and no outright action has ever been initiated to put these people behind bars. The practice continues unabated in the absence of any stringent checks. These poor kids form the backbone of our nation, they are our future.  The government sits silently, refusing to address this malice in our society and taking stringent steps towards eradicating it. It is the duty of those who are affluent in our society to support these kids education working in our homes and offices.

 All children need encouragement, made to realize and understand the significance of gaining education. The benefit that it offers is; knowledge and learning. Helping them with their education can inspire them into becoming politicians, economists, doctors and engineers. They can be a vehicle for change in our country. If affluent people take out Rs 1,000 a month for causes like The Citizens Foundation (TCF) which amounts to Rs 12,000 a year. It’s equivalent to a year’s education for one child!  For our own children, we would pay a fee of Rs 8,000-12,000 a month to educate them in one of the elite private schools in our city. Can’t we as responsible citizens act collectively and start raising the equivalent amount for causes like the TCF?  Is Rs 12,000 a year not affordable for us? Imagine this scenario, for every kid being supported by our affluent households we could herald an education revolution in our country. It could act as an engine for growth and progress in the future. I know it sounds like an improbable task, but my belief is, with the right initiatives this goal is very much achievable.

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Emotions and its Impact

01 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Uncategorized

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Emotions are meant to be embraced and felt to understand the depths of it. Emotions have a wide array of features, they induce the mind with feelings that can be positively exciting and negatively taxing. Emotions are a part and parcel of our daily lives and it can be very difficult at times to detach from them. They ensure and are a broad indicator of the fact that we are humans and not mechanized robots.

   In times of depravity, darkness and full of sadness; emotions are what that keep us alive and kicking. Emotions vary from person to person, some believe     in showing them outright and others shun from revealing them, a typical human trait. Emotions can be taxing for a human mind, but at the very same time it can be a stress reliever too! At times we hear people saying that those who embrace emotions are nothing but fools. Are we supposedly going to take other people’s views and judgements into account and does it even count? The majority including me, take the judgement of others as a benchmark and give it a lot of significance. Are we in any way, liable to explain the reasons for our emotions and feelings to others, are we being influenced by their take on us? Is it worth our while, to think and stress ourselves over our emotions, where we went wrong etc.

    There is a considerable debate over whether emotions should be controlled in ‘certain’ circumstances or situations or whether should we exercising more restraint in showing them. Does practicality suffice more over emotions when making critical decisions? Should emotions only drive our entire lives? It is a very difficult notion to apprehend about because it entirely depends on each individual’s nature and the circumstances and position they are in and emotions differ at every stage of life. A critical decision made purely based on emotions does backfire mostly, and alternatively a more pragmatic and practical approach would be more suited to the current scenario and eventually prevail.

    Emotions can make us weak and more prone to being misused and end up being disappointed. Emotions can never be measured or benchmarked and its calculated use is nigh impossible. Emotions should never be suppressed entirely, it cannot be sub-planted with something different because it is a part and parcel of human nature. Emotions in relationships can be challenging, whether it is with friends, siblings or cousins. Managing emotions is an uphill task and something which is difficult to control at times. Emotions have their peaks and troughs, they have to be counterbalanced with reality and a more practical approach towards dealing with certain situations. Circumstances can drive our emotions and influence the way we act, behave and conduct ourselves. To sum it up, emotions are a necessity; period!

Tolerance: A Personal Perspective

28 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Uncategorized

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Tolerance resides within us, we do not tend to give it the significance it is worthy of in our daily lives. Seldom do we realize; that tolerance is virtue and we blindly refuse to follow and infuse it within ourselves. In this day and age, where our tolerance levels have alarmingly reached to almost non-existent levels; even preaching tolerance is denounced. I ask why? What are the reasons for not practicing tolerance? Does tolerance cost us money; is it detrimental to our health? Is being tolerant a cause of embarrassment? Intolerance is what hinders our society as a whole; and stops us from progressing further as a nation.

          I have always wondered and felt despondent over the fact that why tolerance is being sidelined by all of us and in its place we practice aggression and a policy of complete ignorance on this matter. Is tolerance that difficult to practice that we are not realizing the long term damage that we are doing on ourselves as a society. Peace and harmony are giving way to aggression and violence and repression of individuals; hatred is rising and societal upheaval is increasing. An act of tolerance employed at a critical stage can be the difference between peace and violence. I personally feel that preaching and practicing tolerance in our society is equitable to being classified as a hypocrite and a person who does not have the guts to stand up for what he/ she feels is right. As it can be seen from the traffic on the roads here in Lahore; nobody is willing to tolerate and withstand the wait on traffic lights and motorcyclists especially right, left and center are waving around trying to move as quickly as possible and make their way to their desired destination. People on cars are honking like anything to make the traffic move in peak hours and are not tolerant of the fact that million others like them in the city are as keen to reach their homes too. Waiting is something that our society as a whole refuses to practice and that is a result of a lack of patience and tolerance for others that gives rise to this problem.

           Now coming to tolerance on Social Media and the consequences and backlash that we can face. Normally I tend to keep a minimalistic and a very neutral view point on social media and in most cases tend to mind my own business and practice a decent amount of tolerance. Surprisingly my tolerant stance on politics and my refusal to speak up has been a cause of immense displeasure for other people who I follow and they follow me. In a personal context, I feel certain subjects are taboo and so sensitive to speak up about that a single statement of mine which may be right in a certain context but can cause a flurry of adverse comments and counter-arguments that why did you say that etc. I personally do not care what people think of me and why should I be satisfying them in the first place. If I prefer discretion and keeping tolerant views on certain subjects it is MY CHOICE, as simple as that. I do not expect others to follow my views and embrace them wholeheartedly.

             Everyone has a right to disagree with me endorsing tolerance on a large scale, but yes everything has its limitations and same is the case with tolerance. If the limitations of tolerance are breached by somebody; you are within your right to say I have had enough of your crap and speak up and tell the person to please keep their trap shut before they face undue consequences. Breaching of limitations applies in every sphere of life and tolerance is no different. Striking a balance in regards to tolerance may be quite difficult but as humans we can always strive to practice it as much as we can. Heeding to the call of tolerance will not cost us anything and probably in the longer run can help us maintain our peace of mind!

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Self Doubt & Negativity

04 Saturday Jan 2014

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Uncategorized

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The narrative of this short write up is to discuss the abundance of negativity that we surround ourselves with and in the process tend to move so deep into it that our stubbornness becomes embedded within it. Ruthlessness has no excuse and frustrations increase with the passage of time. A lot of blame for that lies with us and we lack a potential framework to mitigate all these self doubts that plague our minds. The biggest gripe that I have had with myself over the years is the perception that the whole damn world is against me and nobody understands me and my feelings and I indulge deliberately in casting light on myself as a martyr. 

         The reasons for these aspersions with many of us are our negative thoughts that cloud our judgment and hamper our ability to think and reason logically. The first step towards removing these gripes is a pronounced approach towards tackling these issues with an iron fist and developing a stringent methodology to help us overcome it. Thinking alone is a massive brain drainer in itself and is the root cause for my performance to go from midyoker to very poor. Our overall frame of mind dwelves into harbouring negative thoughts and ignore the good things that life has gifted us with. We deliberately do not want to see the positive side of things, because that would give us an opportunity to see life in its truest form.. Nothing is more apocryphal than the presence of self doubt in our minds which creates such an imploding situation that there is a high probability that we ourselves light that match to take ourselves to self destruction. Who needs enemies when we are the one hell bent upon destroying ourselves!!

           Self doubt is one of the gravest dangers that a human mind can harbour and it consumes us from within. When you embrace self doubt as a system of mass exodus in your mind and soul, you tend to go into a limbo and all thoughts that you nurture are negatively oriented and self delusional. This extends to us hallucinating and imagining things and considering the whole of humanity is plotting something or the other against us. Presuming of all things leads us to damaging our self in the immediate aftermath of this but what we do not tend to realize is in the context of our overall relationships with our family and friends which suffers as an outcome. The best explanation of this ruthless virulent is the large scale damage it renders as a result. We are ourselves as an outcome of our own ridiculous perceptions and negativity, tend to enforce our destructive policies on the relationships that matter most to us and torture them and blackmail them purposely to extract maximum gains for ourselves. Self doubt and negativity actually makes us more selfish and more prone to making decisions which only benefit us and greed kicks in as an aftermath of it.

               Nothing is more injurious to our self prestige than doubting ourselves. It adds no value to our lives and neither does it give us any benefits. Self doubt and negativity only adds more fuel to the fire and prolongs our agony and keeps us away from the reality and beauties of life. image

When The Cradle Is Empty

07 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Uncategorized

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Credit goes to a very good friend who wrote this article who declines to be identified so I am sharing it on my blog.

There is an emptiness in my womb that I so desperately wish to fill, with a mass of cells called a fetus that millions of ungrateful people throw away or avoid with a pill, there’s an aching emptiness in my breast. Sometimes, I fell the phantom milk filling me – and I ache for the weight of a child in my loving arms – to suckle and rest. Dear God! I am empty and it hurts – unbearably so…. R. Marie Taylor

Pregnancy is a sign of missed periodic cycle of menstruation each month where you watch your body and examine your feelings, looking for signs of becoming a mother. If your period is late, your spirits rise, only to be dashed. You go to the loo every five minutes, looking for a drop of blood. You go through these cycles of emotions month after month.  You begin to ask yourself what’s wrong with you, is this disease or a sign of better future.  You feel you have no control over your body or your life, nothing is left with you. Conception can become an obsession, and you start to feel isolated. 

It looks as a nightmare when you have a problem in this natural process. You might try to deny it.  You pretend that this is not really happening to you, may think of striving too hard or not at all for it.  Maybe you really don’t want that baby is all you think about.  Around you, everyone else seems to be pregnant and you can’t believe how easy it is for them.  You begin to feel angry with your body for letting you down. You want to kill yourself and regret all around you. The world seems to be with you for a while and may go against when you think of yourself as being “an empty cradle” or being an infertile, and it’s social and psychological effects. Was it me or my husband, who is responsible for my empty womb?

If a woman has not become pregnant after a year of trying, they may have a fertility problem, and it is worth seeking medical help.  If the woman is over 35 (Infertility Support & Advocacy), it may be a good idea to start checking things out even earlier, for e.g. after six to nine months of unprotected sex.  Infertility investigations can sometimes take a long time, even years.  If you put off seeking help early, you could be leaving it too late. Infertility is of two types, primary and secondary. Primary infertility is described, as couple has never been able to conceive a pregnancy, after at least 1 year of unprotected intercourse. Whereas, secondary pregnancy describes as couples who have previously been pregnant at least once, but not have been able to achieve another pregnancy. According to Daily Times Newspaper, “the prevalence of primary infertility is 3.4% and secondary infertility is 18.4% in Pakistan”. Infertility arises due to multiple reasons in males and females, such as, vasectomy, dysfunctional ejaculation, sexual organ anomalies, hormonal disorders, autoimmune (antibody) disorders, sexually transmitted diseases, endometriosis, ovulation disorder, premature menopause, polycystic ovarian disease, uterine fibroids and polyps.

Most of the couples get shocked when they explore that they are infertile and commonly feel socially isolated. Infertility has great impact on social life of men and women. Firstly, the emotional upheaval of infertility can cause relationship distress, communication crisis, sexual difficulties, and isolation. Sometimes, one partner doesn’t agree for particular treatment which can makes other partner feel lack of love, ignored and impulsiveness. The fear to be left alone by another partner is very disturbing for the spouse. Sometimes, they force to get divorce by fertile partner to give a happy life without them. According to Brozan (1982), “most couples feel their relationship has become stronger simply from having come through this crisis. It has forced them to confront the major issue of their lives.” On the other side, the stress on relationship is sometimes so high that spouse tries to involve in extra marital affair to prove their fertility and self-worthiness.

Secondly, Social stigmatization is always attached to infertility since Stone Age. Previously, it was considered as punishment for an individual’s sins. In many societies, women considered as a machine of producing babies. If woman can’t work like that then society blame her and stigmatizes her as worthless person of society who cannot be a source of happiness for her husband and family. Social stigmatization also develops in men and forces them to keep their infertility as a secret and hinder them to seek medical help.

In psychological point of view, parenthood is the big dream for any couple’s life and a big transition period for both genders. Unfortunately, if this wish doesn’t fulfill then the couple might face emotional stress, guilt, anger, depression, and low self-esteem. Sometimes, couples also try to commit suicide to prove themselves innocent and helpless. Depression can also effect on physiology of infertility that is shown in different studies. “One study of 10 depressed and 13 normal women suggests that depression is associated with abnormal regulation of leutinizing hormone, a hormone that regulated ovulation. (Meller, 1997). Further studies are still in progress to find out that there is an association between stress and behavioral changes i.e. low libido, smoking, and alcohol use, which can cause secondary infertility. Sleep disturbances is also effect of stress related to infertility.     

Overall, couples with fertility problems have different responses to their situations, and different ways of dealing with them.  Under such conditions, more often, they feel an extraordinary isolation, being surrounded by friends and family who all seem to have children, or are becoming pregnant.  They can feel their life is ’out of control’, since the part which they took so much for granted, their ability to have a baby, is now in the hands of doctors and scientists.  They often experience pressure from well-meaning friends or family who constantly ask when they are going to start a family.  Many choose to keep their fertility problems a secret.  Infertility is a situation of loss which can go on for years, and it can be difficult to deal with constant sadness in their lives.  Often the male partner deals with this sadness in a different way to the female partner, and this can be difficult to understand.  Men commonly don’t talk as much as women do, and don’t always express their feelings as openly as women. The feelings of both partners, however, can be very intense, and people sometimes say that they think they must be going insane until they talk to other infertile couple who describe similar feelings, and realize that they are, in fact, very normal. More often, couples who share their problem are more stable then the ones blaming their partner being infertile.

So, sharing this problem with the right person is very important in the whole process to resolve it completely…

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Me

Mohammad Farooq

Mohammad Farooq

Busines Journalist and ex-Senior Sub-Editor at Profit by Pakistan Today. Bylines in Dawn, Livemint India, Huffington Post, Express Tribune, MIT Techreview Pakistan,IGN Pakistan, . Interested in Technology affairs, history buff and Part qualified accountant.

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A lot has been going on…

  • My Angelic Grandmother December 14, 2021
  • A man for all seasons: Shahid Jalal August 19, 2020
  • The Merchants of Death June 18, 2020
  • The renaissance of reading books again September 25, 2019
  • Privilege is abusive July 31, 2019

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