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Mohammad Farooq

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Mohammad Farooq

Category Archives: Struggle

The renaissance of reading books again

25 Wednesday Sep 2019

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Books, Depression, Disorders, Hope, Inspiration, Motivation, Struggle

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Anxiety, Books, Challenges, Depression, Determination, History, Hope, Knowledge, Learning, Life, Motivation, Reading, Struggles

When everything around you is collapsing, hope fading away into oblivion, you feel like giving in to the feeling of capitulation and breaking apart. Since the past few months, I have written little to nothing about what I have undergone mentally, but I can vouch for the fact that during this period books have helped to resuscitate my ailments to the brink of positivity. Reading history has always been my passion, the happenings, the past and major events have always aroused my interest.

My interest in reading had waned and I became distant from books like I had cast them away and locked them up for good. As my problems with anxiety and panic disorder compounded my miserable state of affairs, I was abject, hopeless, despondent and deprecated. I had hauled myself into a dead end, a point of no return and a state of self-induced apathy that was only aggravating my misery. The self-implosion was evident, there was no scope for hope and positivity in my mind or heart. I was hell-bent upon believing that recovery was an impossibility and fallacy by the mid of June. There was no effort to counter this anomaly, I kept suffering within and refusing to give myself a breather.

Devoid of energy, like a lifeless corpse lying on the bed with severe anxiety attacks, I was unable to chart myself through this turbulent period. These are trials and tribulations so to speak, a test of our tenacity, the survival of our spirit and how we respond to it. There is no strategy, methodical approach which can work miracles in an instant and make things wonderful for us. It is a long grind, hard-earned way to recovery and restoring ourselves. In the realm of darkness, I had deliberately surrounded myself with, my unwillingness to escape and fight it was strikingly evident. There was no coping mechanism, no effort to reverse the tide of misfortune I had brought upon myself thanks to my obstinance.

Call it a stroke of luck or my good fortune, I picked up my smartphone without thinking and started searching for history books on Amazon that I could read on my Kindle. Till that point, several months had passed, probably even a year since I had divulged myself into reading a book. While browsing on Amazon, I came across a book Destiny Disrupted: A History of the World Through Islamic Eyes by Tamim Ansary on the 24th of June which piqued my interest and I got it to read on my Kindle. What I never realized then what I was about to initiate and the reverberations it would have three months down the road.

The resumption of reading history started with the usual distractions and disturbances. My focus and concentration levels initially were appalling. Previously, I had been a voracious reader with an unprecedented appetite for history and swift reading speed. Initially, I stuttered understandably since it had been an eternity since I had actually read any book so to speak. I was exasperated, frustrated by this development and my impatience knew no bounds. I have my bouts of anger which added to my failure and impeded my flow of reading. I was desperate for my old self to renew in terms of reading and seeing it bear fruition.

The first few days were tough, filled with panic and disruption as I found it difficult to get my flow going. It was exacerbating, painful to see myself labour through at a pace of a tortoise while reading. However, slowly and painstakingly the efforts started bearing fruit, my concentration and focus saw a positive turn. Just a few days ago, I was tottering and dawdling at the brink of capitulating again to my endless frustration of the hindrances I faced in restoring my flow while reading and here I was now on the mend. That day, it made me realize the value of perseverance and of continuing the journey, irrespective of what impediments lie ahead. As I prodded slowly page after page, the flow that had been absent or ebbed showed signs of crystallizing.

Finally, my pace and flow of reading fueled my engrossment in the book. Previously, I had failed to even read a few pages without being distracted and now I was steaming ahead at breathtaking speed, finishing chapter after chapter. It was unbelievable! Within a matter of three to four days, not only had I successfully rekindled my interest in reading, but I was enjoying it now. What began as a laborious exercise, became a renaissance and bane of my recovery from the depths of depravity just a week or so ago. I was able to finish the book by the end of June and move onto the next one.

My next book was about Islamic Spain and the Convivencia written by Maria Rosa Menocal named The Ornament of the World. I began the book with an eagerness to complete it as fast I could, it wasn’t a race with anyone but my resurrection as an avid reader that fueled my desire to forge ahead. I started reading the book, so engrossing it was, that I finished it within a matter of days. It seemed like I was living a dream, but I didn’t stop and kept pushing myself to consolidate the momentum I had successfully created. I had conquered my worst nightmare, overcome my anxiety and depression, books were to be the bane of my recovery and resuscitation.

Moving onto the next book, Kingdoms of Faith: A New History of Islamic Spain written by Brian A. Carlos proved to be a colossal challenge. This was the first book where my nerves and tenacity were tested to the utmost limit. I started with a bang, finishing the first few chapters in a blink of an eye before I realized that the book was detailed. As daunting a task, it was, I dithered slightly, fearful that I may not be able to finish this book. I took a pause, recalibrated my thoughts and composed myself. I decided I would give myself a break of a day and then resume the book. Much to my surprise, the strategy paid dividends and after that break, I was able to resume my reading, my unbridled focus allowed me to read for long periods with no distractions. Consequently, I successfully completed the book within a weeks’ time, my third in less than a month!

The renaissance and this remarkable journey of resuscitation continue. My book reading has only increased my vigour, passion, appetite to read more, amplify my knowledge and learning. The curiosity that has piqued my interest in history over the past decade has been a boon to me. Reading has been a calming influence, helped me reduce my stress levels and brought me much needed peace that I had sought. In these three months, I have successfully completed fourteen books and in the previous month, I have read six which include the recently released The Anarchy: The Rise and Fall of the East India Company written by William Dalrymple.

Books are the seeds of learning and knowledge. They are priceless treasures that I have realized need succour and care. Love books, value and treasure them, in them lies the power of transformation and which can unlock the door to infinite learning/knowledge.

 

 

A legendary architect: Zaheer ud Deen Khawaja

21 Monday May 2018

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Architecture, Biography, General, History, Humanity, Pakistan, Struggle, Tributes

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Architecture, Heroes, History, Icons, Pakistan, Personalities, Tributes

“Travelling is the best way of getting acquainted/accustomed to other cultures, which teaches us a lot about their customs and values said Zaheer-Ud-Deen Khwaja to me, one of the most renowned architects produced by Pakistan almost 20 years ago.” These words, were like pearls of wisdom for me along with many other exchanges with him, that helped transform my thoughts into something more diverse than they may have turned out to be. He had played a pivotal role as an architect who was internationally recognized and won many accolades/awards within his own capacity for Pakistan, but the selflessness this man had displayed throughout his life is worth exploring.

For me, having personal access to him was trivial courtesy of him being my mother’s mamo and brother of Safia Manto, my grandmother. I called him Zaheer Nana, out of sheer love and respect for a man who was revered by the whole family for his wisdom, knowledge, balance and impeccable honesty which may be unbelievable to my readers currently. He has been forgotten with time, achievements of his groundbreaking in many aspects, languishing and largely written off.

I discerned a few decades ago, the role of architects in that era wasn’t as celebrated and given equivocal footing, as say someone who was a writer, an actor or a poet for example. But, what Zaheer-Ud-Deen-Khwaja achieved was unprecedented at a time when broadcast media and the internet did not exist.

Zaheer-Ud-Deen Khwaja, was born in Kenya in the early 1920’s where his father Qamar-Ud-Deen was employed as Public Prosecutor in Zanzibar a British protectorate in those days. His father had originally settled in Karatina, about a hundred miles from Nairobi so due to rudimentary schooling available, the area was majorly populated by traders from Gujrat, India who ran the primary school there. So, his initial instruction medium of education was hence in Gujrati. Qamar-Ud-Deen, his father who was serving in Zanzibar as a Public Prosecutor, headed by an Arab Sultan died an untimely death when he was assassinated for being mistaken as a British Police officer due to his fair complexion in 1936.

The rather unforeseen seen death of his father, must have been a major catastrophic event in their lives, but their mother who was uneducated but a towering personality in her own right took over the family reins. Thanks to the representation of his uncle, Shams-Ud-Deen, a member of the Legislative council and an influential person in his own right, ensured that the widow of Qamar-Ud-Deen was provided financial help by the British Colonial Government, a pension for the entirety of her life, bursaries for the four sons till the age of eighteen and completion of their education.

Also, allowances were allotted for his three sisters till they got married. Considering these events, Miss Qamar-Ud-Deen took the momentous decision of migrating to Bombay (now Mumbai), India. After arriving in Bombay, aged 14 he found himself to be the head of the family, but his mother as mentioned earlier was a woman of virtue and considerable intellect who had an immense influence on her children, which left an everlasting impact on all of them during their respective lifetimes.

Restarting his education, he completed his High School from St. Mary’s High School, Bombay and decided to pursue Architecture on the advice of his cousin Zafar-Ud-Deen, although as per his memoirs he barely scraped through Art as a subject in his Senior Cambridge examinations!  He took admission in the renowned Sir J.J School of Art where he pursued his architecture. It was a time he remembered rather fondly, with his initial struggles in the first two years at university and the development of a close bond with his Professor Claude Batley who was the Head of the Department of Architecture too. During the third and fourth years, all the students were encouraged to visit the northern and southern parts of India, to get abreast of the finest traditional architecture and diversity it had to offer. By the fifth year, doing an apprenticeship was mandatory in a firm of architects and he was attending of 2 hourly classes in the morning.

He then appeared for an external exam of the Royal British Institute of British Architects, as the diploma offered by the college he attended was not accepted internationally back then. After successfully passing the external exam, he applied for a post-graduate scholarship on offer by the Government of India, which he received for a degree in Civic Design at the University of Liverpool, UK. While aboard the ship to the UK in October 1946, he was also accompanied by a future Nobel Laureate and renowned Physicist Professor Abdus Salam, Aslam Raza who later became the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Pakistan and Ikramullah Niazi, a P.W.D engineer and the father of iconic cricketer turned politician Imran Khan.

Besides completing his post-graduation at the University of Liverpool, he also got the opportunity to travel around the whole of UK and visited a host of other countries in Europe for which the Government of India generously provided financial assistance. By 1948, after being elected as a certified member of the Royal Town Planning Institute, he made his way back to Pakistan in October of the same year.

Upon his return to Pakistan, the scholarship he had been awarded by the Government of India contained a clause or a surety bond which bound him to serve them in an individual capacity to the field he was linked with. Apparently, at that point of time he was ironically one of the only qualified architect and town planners available within Pakistan! While job hunting for a few months, he landed up a job in East Pakistan (Now Bangladesh) as Assistant Government architect in Chittagong at a salary of Rs 800. The time spent there was remembered fondly, along with this comradeship and close bonding with his Bengali colleagues of that time who never forgot him for his sincerity and kindness he had meted them with. After his marriage to his beloved wife Tahira, in December 1950 and with whom he shared a beloved bond of almost 55 years till her death in July 2005.

After a year’s stint in Chittagong and Dhaka, he was offered an important position of Architect and Town planner of Thal Development Authority (TDA) in West Pakistan to oversee a multi-million regional planning covering an area of six million acres of desert which he graciously accepted. As he narrated it in his memoirs, the five years spent involved in the development of this region was one of the golden periods which included designing of the Quaidabad hospital by him as well.

The Thal Development project is listed by the Britannica Encyclopedia is listed as one of the most important development projects in the world. After his association with TDA for five years, he embarked upon taking charge of Pakistan P.WD  in the then capital city, as Chief Town Planner and Architect on the direct orders of the then Prime Minister Huseyn Suhrawardy who wished to enlist his services in end of 1957.

Also in 1957, a Quaid-e-Azam’s Mausoleum Architectural Competition to build a budding memorial to the founding father of the nation was held for which he was assigned to select a jury of assessors for this momentous project. In a rather unfortunate turn of events, the design awarded as the winning one was not acceptable to Mohtarma Fatima Jinnah and she hired an architect of her own choice from India who designed the current mausoleum built in honour of Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah. During 1958, as the architect-in-chief of the P.W.D and later with the Karachi Development Authority (KDA), he was actively involved in the planning and execution of the Korangi township, and various other projects during the time spent there. In his period spent there, he dealt with the growing developmental issues of Karachi which was experiencing rapid urbanization due to being the economic hub of Pakistan and remains to this day.

Also, in an interesting incident narrated in his book with the founder of Dawood Hercules, Ahmed Dawood is shared in this snapshot:

capture

His achievements remain unprecedented, but he was a family man, a principled father, a dutiful husband to his beloved wife Tahira and a doting grandfather to his granddaughters Mahvash, Sarah, Anam and Alizeh.

Life is genuinely a struggle

09 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by Mohammad Farooq in Faith, Hope, Life, Motivation, Rantings, Self Belief, Struggle, Tips

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Feelings, Happiness, Hope, Life

The moments of resilience were dowry. Insensitivity harbored no particular segments of foliage so to speak. Deriving the strength to rise from the glut was particularly challenging. The focus was never there from the onset, it was strikingly oblivious & devoid of any aim. Deriding the moral incapacitance, coupled with extreme laziness will not resolve any issue. Efforts have to be chequered in nature, progress always demands sacrifice.

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As I spent the best part part of a month harboring inhibitions over issues that were typically nonsensical. Fears always end up being realized and raze us from our very existence. Confusion reins in self doubt, it’s contours of impact are frivilous so to speak. Realities in these circumstances tend to us down, fearing retribution. The worst aspect of this is, it makes us insecure and self pittance becomes a consolable excuse. There is always a factor of self created apathy which tends to seep in to our lives. This leads us to a cacophony of issues that arise, which we are unable to muster through. Problems exist in a gazillion of ways, but resolving them requires a will to overcome them.

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There is always a tendency to fall back and acclimatize yourself to an environment of your own creation. Comfort zones as they are referred by, their very nature is hazardous and fruitless. They have no benefits to extract from it, they limit innovation and obstruct our thinking in ways we cannot even fathom. The only viable option in existence is to charter towards your goals and break up the shackles our mind is obviating through. Laziness will only echo disasters within its wake and block our thought process. In times like these, we tend to delve into memories which have brought us nothing but pain. The resolution lies in evolving as an individual, embracing our shortcomings and taking small steps towards self improvement. Anything is probable, if there is a will to overcome our abstentions and approach everything pragmatically.

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Either we can be bystanders to openly defying changes that can makes our lives better, or realize that progression requires making the right choices. As someone like me, who speaks from personal experience, the battle in these circumstances is largely singular in entity. The decisions are ours to make, shaping our destiny and future very much within our realm of scope. At times, when making critical life altering decisions, there is an element to quantify the long term impact it can have on us. Element of uncertainty, probability in these circumstances is obvious. The unknown and unseen can seem to be a foreboding feeling, one which can herald our locked nightmares and fears. At times, the unknown is something that should not be frowned upon and has to be risked in order to achieve our goals. What fate has in stall for us has to be embraced whether positive or negative is something we cannot predict until and unless we are willing to throw ourselves into it. To conquer fear, self belief is of absolute necessity.

As we move forward in our lives, there is always an element of regret that we tend to house within our memories. Our lack of fearlessness is what causes us to be cautious in our intake and risk is something we detest. Playing safe within our comfort zones, hampers our productivity. The lack of courage to experience new things, leads us to commotions and practices that are moribund in nature. They rust us from within, obstinate practices are what we rely upon. Rigidness entails our practices, mental strength tends to fall apart. The habit of self capitulating becomes a strikingly brazen practice, the outcomes becomes a norm. The desertion of courage and bravery in these circumstances becomes a abject reality. Options and opportunities tend to narrow down, stalking us towards a path of no return. By our actions, we are pushing ourselves into a dead end from which we may be unable to see no light.

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Life is beautiful, the trials and tribulations very much a part and parcel of it. Testing times, require patience and sustenance within it’s wake. All of us at some point of time, are destined to go through a tough time, and it is a cyclical process which tends to repeat itself. The only thing that counts is our inner strength, that can give us the courage to withstand any colossal impact of an event that may be life altering. Changes are necessary, some come from divine intervention, others are coursed by our own actions and practices. No one can alter our destiny, the key to being successful is squarely within our hands. It is YOU who matters, and the one who can bring the required necessary changes to make your life an enriching experience.

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Image Credits: BestQuotes4You, 25Media, QuotePixel, DavesWordofWisdom,           TheDailyQuotes

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Me

Mohammad Farooq

Mohammad Farooq

Busines Journalist and ex-Senior Sub-Editor at Profit by Pakistan Today. Bylines in Dawn, Livemint India, Huffington Post, Express Tribune, MIT Techreview Pakistan,IGN Pakistan, . Interested in Technology affairs, history buff and Part qualified accountant.

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A lot has been going on…

  • My Angelic Grandmother December 14, 2021
  • A man for all seasons: Shahid Jalal August 19, 2020
  • The Merchants of Death June 18, 2020
  • The renaissance of reading books again September 25, 2019
  • Privilege is abusive July 31, 2019

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